There's an old saying that goes "wherever you are, be there". Today people talk a lot about mindfulness, about "being there". And it's so true - every single day is part of the precious mosaic of our lives and if we don't seize the day, what will we seize? How about the moment?
Like many of us I've had a lot of tough days in my life, days when I thought my life had turned to ashes. I used to read the Bible a lot and there's a lovely passage in Isaiah which goes:
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
As I watched Andrew working I was struck by how beautiful he was, not just in a physical sense but how beautiful in spirit and nature. We share an extraordinary love, a love I never thought I'd have. When you lose a lot, when it devastates you to your core, when the grief seems overwhelming, when your life seems to have turned to ashes - it can be so hard to believe there is some "crown of beauty" still waiting for you in your future. And yet here he was, this gorgeous man who is my partner and fiancee. The universe just keeps on working it's miracles. It goes on, we go on. People talk sometimes about "trusting the process" but maybe that's what we have to do sometimes - just hold on tight and trust the process.
One day you'll find yourself in a sunny room looking once again at a "crown of beauty" and in that moment ironically it will be the losses you survived that will help to fill you with a deep appreciation, an absolute realization, of how full your cup is. And you will treasure that moment - that privilege - utterly and completely and give thanks for another day of loving.